Dealing with Negative People

Written By: Richard Hutchins, CD

This article is a contribution on behalf of the IDA Health & Wellness Taskforce. 

You cannot go through life without meeting negative people; they are all around us. A negative person will do all they can to pull you apart, drag you down, and make your life miserable. How you react to them is the issue. 

Negativity can be contagious. It may not be obvious, but it’s easy to get trapped into a negative person’s way of thinking if you are not careful. Left unhandled, their cynical, gloomy, and defeatist behaviour can emotionally drain you, impact your productivity, and turn you into the very person you hated.

A toxic person gains no confidence boost or recognition for anything they do. This may result from a childhood family issue. Perhaps they grew up in an environment where arguing was a daily occurrence. Maybe they grew up listening to their parents argue, making them feel life is a big shouting match full of negativity. 

Gaining confidence to tackle this type of person is the key to handling negative people. So, how do you handle this type of person? Never argue with a negative person. It won’t get you anywhere. They will always find a problem to a solution.

Defusing a negative person is often easy. Let yourself be true to yourself. Give them compliments, tell them how great they are, tell them how they helped you, or tell them how you learnt something from them. This will guide them to a better state of mind and help change what they are saying. 

One simple act will not change a negative person overnight, but constant compliments will defuse the situation each time you see them. They will get nothing but praise and find themselves less willing to want to rock the boat as they will begin to like the newfound way of life. 

One of the most important factors of handling negative people is to not get involved in a conversation around the negativity they wish to talk about. Each time they bring it up, shrug it off. Just say, "Yeah," and then change the subject. By continually doing this, they will learn that you are not interested, and they will bring it up less in the future.

For example, "Yes, I can see that you are upset with how things went today, truly sorry about that. Oh, by the way, have you had a chance to look at that book I told you about? There are some interesting ideas in there."

A negative person can be that way due to insecurities in life, try to understand why. Once, you understand why they are feeling negative and insecure, you can start to offer constructive advice, speak to them, ask questions, offer solutions, and help.

Dealing with Negative Issues in Your Business

Don’t offer excuses. Instead, focus on resolution.

Customers don’t want to hear why something went wrong; they want to know what you can do about it. Firstly, acknowledge the customer’s issue as quickly as possible before it snowballs and picks up other customers and prospects on the way. When an issue arises, resolve their issues faster than you can say help. Don’t tell them why things went wrong, that will just inflame the situation and make things worse than before.

Solving the problem quickly is the most important part. Fix the problem immediately. How you handle an issue online can have a much more positive impact on the negative situation than you can imagine. People will feel secure if you handle a negative situation with courage and pride. They will feel more empowered to do business with you if they know that if an issues arises, you will go up and above to resolve the situation. 

Know when to take it offline. Sometimes this is the best approach. You don't necessarily need to delete the post, just defuse the situation, and take the discussion offline. If you take the problem offline, you need to resolve these issues. Don’t use it as an attempt to shut up the critic. If you don’t resolve the problem, it will come back even worse than before and do greater damage.

Make sure you understand how to apologize properly. Use empathy, so the client is fully aware you mean what you say. Don’t just say sorry offline. Yes, it’s hard to admit it’s your fault, but own up and just say it. In most cases, when people resort to online negative reviews, they are looking for a fight. Never resort to a fight. The more you feed the negative situation, the worse it becomes. Don’t argue with clients in the public domain.

With any situation you handle that involves a negative situation, it's best to listen without judgement. Don’t listen with assumptions and opinions, they will typically worsen any situation.  

Remember:
Don’t Take Things Personally.
Listen without judgment.
Act With Intention.
Respond Calmly.

*The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the IDA.